At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
