I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
