hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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