I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
