ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
