Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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