that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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