He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
