ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
