I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
they need to just BURY HIM!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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