i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
