Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
