Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
