Im at strip club and am horny
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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