Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
