I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
