I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Welp...herpes.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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