We're facebook friends in real life
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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