I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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