I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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