A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
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She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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