Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
