i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
