I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
