i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
