Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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