question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
