he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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