this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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