im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
