Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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