U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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