Texts From Last Night

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  (940): View more from Texas

  You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.

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  (940): You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have. http://tfl.nu/bqro
  Replies (15) Good night (1090) Bad night (2482) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

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  (860): As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. http://tfl.nu/lted
  Replies (104) Good night (8377) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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  (850): hey. who tried to drive me home last night? (904): not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"? (850): i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants. http://tfl.nu/wk6x
  Replies (33) Good night (21227) Bad night (1962)
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  (818): View more from California

  he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror

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  (818): he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror http://tfl.nu/1dr8
  Replies (14) Good night (5959) Bad night (1482) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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  (703): This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar. http://tfl.nu/4fqp
  Replies (9) Good night (2375) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.

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  (734): Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands. http://tfl.nu/f2kb
  Replies (12) Good night (3789) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.

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  (445): My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment. http://tfl.nu/kvle
  Replies (5) Good night (1418) Bad night (723)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?

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  (402): What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something? http://tfl.nu/b3em
  Replies (16) Good night (2268) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.

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  (717): Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move. http://tfl.nu/kgo8
  Replies (9) Good night (1074) Bad night (1964)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

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  (732): Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train. http://tfl.nu/hytn
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.

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  (909): Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn. http://tfl.nu/8ily
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!

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  (504): My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving! http://tfl.nu/frqw
  Replies (1) Good night (849) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun

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  (630): All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun http://tfl.nu/y2l0
  Replies (6) Good night (1894) Bad night (334)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY

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  (425): Sexual Frustration City, population: Me. (423): I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY http://tfl.nu/7zd6
  Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (453)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't turn off my feet"

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  (419): I can't turn off my feet" http://tfl.nu/fr6o
  Replies (2) Good night (327) Bad night (105) Order T-Shirt

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