I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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