I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
