ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
