I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
