i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
false alarm. still invincible.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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