I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I believe in your delicious
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