Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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