She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
