We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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