I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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