help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
