She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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