Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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