Say something about gay babies.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
