It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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