Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it glows. i had to have it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How does one acquire holy water?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize