The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
