My underwear smells like fireworks.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize