i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
