used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
