Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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