I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
