the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
