even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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