hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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