I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
