I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
