You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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