Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
