Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
