Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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