Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
