Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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