Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
